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So my story is long and ill try and explain all the details the best i can. I have battled depression for years and these past two years have been hard for me and I've gone to counseling multiple times and I occasionally have "episodes". I think I may have had one of my worst episodes today ( I hadn't had an episode since June). So this week I got into fights with my two best friends and they are really my only friends so i didn't have anyone to talk to. So today we had a religious retreat and we had a one hour lunch break so we got a game of football going (which really shouldn't have been allowed and there were no chaperones watching us). It was full on tackle football and everyone gathered in a circle to watch it. Well i got the ball and this kid went to tackle me and grabbed me by my shirt and ripped my shirt open, like wide open. Everyone laughed at me and I got embarrassed and went to the other side of the church. I didn't want to go back in there with my shirt ripped open and I didn't have a sweatshirt and neither did any of my friends. So I sat outside on the curb. After an hour and a half, no one knew I was gone, no one came and looked for me. So the teachers weren't chaperoning and didn't take a head count or ask if i was okay. So I called my dad to come get me and I started to walk towards his work down the highway so he could meet me halfway. Well the retreat ended and everyone was driving home and passing me. They just honked their horns and were laughing at me and pointing at me. My ex-girlfriend pulled over and asked if I needed a ride and I just kept walking so she drove away and now i feel like an asshole because I just gave her the cold shoulder and it wasn't right. Well the school called my parents and told me I'm not allowed to come to school tomorrow and I have a meeting with the school Friday morning to decide what they're gonna do with me. I don't mean to do the things I do, I can't help it and they don't understand me. I'm afraid to go back cause people think I'm crazy now. I'm a senior so I have one more year left and I really don't want to transfer. Help me.
Right now, you have to deal with the consequences of your "episode". The meeting on Friday will tell you how you are going to have to proceed, so it's hard to plan until you know what the school plans to do. One thing you might want to consider is expressing to the school exactly what happened, how your shirt was ripped and you were embarrassed to go back. Are you sorry for your actions? If so, make sure you express that to the school as well. They might like to hear that from you. Also, if you are sorry, expressing that to your ex might be a good place to start with her. "Episodes" happen from time to time, this does sound like a bad one, but that can happen. Learn from each episode and become better and better with handling them when they happen. You cannot change the events of the past, but you can learn from them and begin the process of moving forward. Keep moving forward and improving yourself. Call us anytime at 888-222-2228.
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
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