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I spent the past year single, (sophmore year of college), after a breakup after a 8 month relationship. I went into the year in september thinking that the issue was that I didnt approach guys or talk to them enough, and thats why I was single. Here;s the big catch-- when I approach guys and get their numbers (if its through a class or mutual friends) 80 percent of the time, it amounts to something. time 1- we kissed, then he decided he didnt like me a week later, time 2 and 3, they liked me but i didnt like them, after talking to them more.....Unfortunetly ive only been able to do this about 3 times, and its March, I started this in september I feel like a pathetic failure, still single....If I could just do this 60x by now, I would likely have someone, who I like and who likes me..sadly I really struggle, and I feel completely stuck.
I am able to apply for jobs, study interview, ask teachers for help, when its awkward and make friends but for whatever reason I HAVE A TERRIBLE TIME with approaching and talking to guys and going as far as to try and hang out with them. I've spent the past year, reading books and articles, and its all in my head why I cant, I make all these horrible excuses in my head, and I just want to curl under a rock. I shouldnt have these thoughts or have this happen, as I achieve success in so many of my approches. Its like i tell myself, " I AM NOT SCARED I CAN DO THIS I AM JUST GOING TO TALK TO THEM, I just repeat the thoughts saying I can do this, and then its too late, and I just end up sitting there and then they have to go, or have another clas and its too late, and another day goes by and im still stuck single frustrated and now starting to get depressed bc im that mad at myself for not being able to do something so simple.. as talk to guys, and get their numbers and attempt to form relationships, and whats worse is THEY NEVER APPROACH ME FIRST, I approach them first, do a lot of work, and they end up liking me often, but I just cant do it often enough to form a relationship.
I just dont know how to be able to fix myself to be able to do this successfully...im honestly completely stuck, and frustrated, Ive read countless books and articles, and I feel like I am hitting a brick wall everytime I try, even though I've switched the thoughts in my head to saying "I can do this, I will achieve i am going to go talk to them".. I just repeat them, while sittign there, and I cant move or even start talking, I just freeze.
All of these things that you are feeling are completely normal. As humans, we fear rejection and often times this is the reason we freeze up and are unable to say what we really mean at that moment. Try to be more positive and less hard on yourself. It sounds like you are just ready to be in a relationship and maybe that is not happening for you right now but instead of worrying, why don't you take this as a time in your life where you focus on yourself. It is OK that is has been a few months, sometimes it takes a while to meet the right person. If someone isn't approaching you first, maybe they feel the same way as you? You may never know. If there is something that you wish to say to someone just think, the absolute worst thing this person could say is "I am not interested right now" and that isn't so bad! They are honest with you, and you can move on to the next guy that you think is worth more of your time. You can read as much as you want about dating and relationships, but every experience is going to be unique! Why don't you just spend time living your life and doing things to satisfy your needs for your future, and the right guy will come along. Maybe in ways you would never expect. Sometimes when we continuously look for something, it won't come, but only when we stop looking for it is when we get it. I hope this response makes you feel a little more at ease, but if not please give us a call or text anytime at 888-222-2228. We are here to talk 24/7! And again, try not to be so hard on yourself!
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