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so basically whenever i get slightly angry or anything like that, my friends will kind of just smile and giggle because "i'm funny when i'm angry" and that just kinda drives me away from them. i don't ever vent to anyone because of this ( esp to my parents ) so i just kind of bottle everything up. two weeks ago someone that i know , let's call him jake 2 of my other friends and i were at jake's backyard and jake has a dog. i have made it very clear that i have a huge phobia of dogs esp dogs that can bark really loudly and jake decides to bring the dog outside even after his dad confirmed the dog won't be outside. so there i was in the trampoline hiding from the dog covering my ears ( since that's what i do in stressful situations ) yelling at jake to bring the dog back inside while my other 2 friends were smiling and laughing about it. i quickly left afterwards making up an excuse and that really made me question my relationship with them.
i guess kind of unrelated but my friends ALWAYS put their problems onto me and vent to me without asking. one of my friends who i dont speak to that much anymore used to vent to me everyday last year and i was understanding they had just gotten out of a toxic relationship but i was going through my own things as well like mental health, family, etc. and it drove me to harming myself and just made me reach my limit ( i don't self harm anymore ) but stuff like this still happens. if i wanna say something to my friends they just don't really listen to me and i just end up bottling everything up. im not sure if im over dramatic for the story in the first paragraph or not though.
sorry this is such a huge mess lmao i'm not used to opening up like this, even if it's anonymous. anyways thanks for reading
That must be very frustrating to feel that they want you to be there for them and they’re not there for you, but you definitely have the power to not extend yourself like that if it’s not reciprocated. If you haven’t really tried to talk to them then I would try talking to them about how you feel and not make it a joke. On the other hand if they look at you like a joker because that’s usually how you interact with them then they’re going to think that that’s your thing. But it is completely OK if their friendship means something to you to have a heart to heart and say yes I may joke around but I have feelings and I would like you to consider them or something like that. Maybe write a pros and cons list of talking to them and think about is it worth it for you and if not then you can always set boundaries for yourself and not be there if you feel that it’s affecting you emotionally. I hope this helps you a little bit and if you want to talk about this or anything please text or call 2NDFLOOR at 888-222-2228 (tel:888-222-2228). We are here 24/7.
Hey! So it sounds like you feel as though your friends aren't being very supportive. That must be difficult because it makes opening up even harder when you don't feel heard. The first thing I always recommend my friends when they feel like they are bottling everything up and don't have a safe space to talk among their friends (I know a lot of people don't like hearing this but it really works if you give it a chance) is find a therapist they feel comfortable talking to! I know therapy feels weird at first but if you talk to your therapist like your friend and you are open and honest it can help off load some of the big feelings. If that doesn't feel like a option that would work for you try communicating how you feel with your friends and see how they respond. Explain to them that you feel as though you are always there to listen to them but don't feel like that reciprocated. Also, communicate this in a way where you use I statement like "I feel like I'm not being understood" instead of statements like " you don't listen to me" because the second option can put peoples guard up if they feel as though they are being attacked. Hope this helps, Keep reaching out!
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