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Hello. So I really need help and im really confused. So I broke up with my ex of like almost a year on October 14th. It is about to be a month and he is being really scary. We decided to stay friends and everything has seemed to be going fine until he caught covid last week. He has spent this whole week in isolation and Im assuming he is feeling really alone. However, I still text him all day everyday and even call him daily. This whole thing happened like two days ago. Hes been begging me to get back together with him and that he has nothing to live for without me being his girlfriend. I am so afraid because I do not want him to end his life. The amount of guilt I feel over the breakup is so extreme. Im so scared and paranoid and it is not fair to me that he can try to scare me into getting into a relationship again. He has started to notice that I have been talking to other boys and he is very upset at me for doing that to him. I dont know what to do I feel trapped. The reason I even ended the relationship to begin with is because it was getting toxic. He even has called me at 2am sobbing about how much he wants me back and like the past days been texting me non stop about how horrible he feels and how I do not understand his pain. We go to the same high school so I am going to tell my counselor about his behavior. However, I do not know what to do in the meantime, or how to stop feeling guilty.
Thank you for reaching out. This is definitely very scary behavior and you are absolutely doing the right thing by telling a counselor at school. As for the meantime, that is a tough question on how to stop feeling guilty. Honestly this is something that you are going to have to come to terms yourself and realize that you have done absolutely nothing wrong. You have all the right to go about your life. He obviously has deeper issues to begin with that he needs help and support with and that is certainly not your job. Offering your friendship could be tricky because of the feelings he has for you. However, I do understand how you are in a tough place because of the things he is saying which are absolutely wrong and not fair to you. Have you also talked about this with another adult like someone in your family? Maybe something you can work on to start is talking to him less. Obviously him making comments about not wanting to live without you is very serious so an adult who can help him must know that immediately. You can also give him our number and he can text or call us to talk about this too. Please reach out to us at the 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline as well if you would like to talk about this further. Our number is 888-222-2228.
thank you. I have referred him to the hotline and he refuses to because he believes it doesn't work. I would love to tell my mom but she would ban me from entirely talking to him and i am terrified about him ending his life. Monday is almost here and hopefully my counselors can help me. I have mentioned to her his behavior before and she did not take it as seriously. thank you so much though, this made me feel better
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DISCLAIMER: 2NDFLOOR is a youth helpline designed to listen, help and guide youth in addressing challenges. Periodically, calls may be monitored for quality assurance and training purposes. You are assured anonymity and confidentiality, except in life-threatening situations. When receiving such an emergency phone call, 2NDFLOOR staff is required by law to report hurting yourself/others or abuse to the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. In life-threatening situations, call 911.
