School
I feel like I've annoyed my teacher. I don't know what to do.
I've emailed her multiple times & she's replied but ahh. I sound like a whiney brat.
It's about my research paper, she wanted me to submit it on Friday for 10 extra credit points . I later emailed her to check my paper & she said no, I don't need her to. She said I was silly not to hand it in bc I wasted 10 free points bc of self doubt & that I need to breathe & trust myself that it'll be okay.
I'm so anxious that it's going to be terrible even though she keeps reassuring me it's not, I can't not worry.
I emailed her this:
But I do need you check it, please. I don't want it to be all wrong and sound terrible. I just want it to be okay, I don't know if my conclusion is even right. I don't even know if my whole paper is alright, I feel like it needs so much more work, its just so weak awful. It is just not good enough. My whole paper isn't strong enough. I don't know what to fix to make it better. I want to get it over with and hand it in but I just feel like I am not ready, I don't know what is holding me back. I am really worried about handing it in, I don't know how to not worry. Its so stressful. I can't do anything right, everything that I do is always wrong. I am not a strong writer at all, I fail miserably. All of my other essays were terrible I couldn't do it in the first try I always ended up rewriting them 2 or 3 times until I finally got it. I don't think I will ever become a better writer I know that I am always going to struggle. I just don't know how you and everybody else do it. I wish I could've handed it in today and could've been like everyone else but I messed that up. They all seemed to just have handed it in so easily and not overthink it. I just couldn't do it, I feel like I am just not ready to let go of it, I'm scared and I am nervous and I guess I shouldn't be but I don't know how to not be, I don't want to worry about it and stress so much, I want it to be ok but I don't know how to make it ok becasue its not. I know its not fine. The thing is I don't have any strengths to be recognized, I can't do anything well I always fail, I am a complete failure. Can you please read it.
I'm sorry."
& she replied:
Please submit it on Tuesday with the rest of the class. If there is a problem, we'll address it. Even if you don't trust yourself, you need to trust me. Turn it in, and it will be ok.
Please be sure to email your guidance counselor if you need help with your anxiety. Know, too, that I wouldn't advise you to turn in your paper, if you were not going to do well. So again, please prepare to submit it by Tuesday. We can talk about your concerns then if you like. Mary, I believe in you. Your paper is good. Please be easier on yourself!"
Is she mad? Annoyed? I don't know what to think, I'm just anxious about it because it's a big part of my 4th quarter grade. I have so much anxiety but I feel weird emailing my counselor, I don't even know what to say in the email if I do.
I'm also scared to go back to school Tuesday, is she going to be upset with me? I don't know how I feel. Please help me.