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Ever since I was in 7th grade I knew there was something different with me. I always played it like a joke and my friends make gay jokes around me. I think I'm a Pansexual male but act like I'm straight. Through the years I thought I was gay, then bi, and now pan but still don't know. I want to come out but I feel like I will realize my true gender after I have already told others about a different sexuality. Most of my friends always make jokes about gay people and I just act along with them but I feel like I will come out and they will think of me completely differently. Right now I'm in 9th grade and don't really know what I should or need to do but recently started having dark thoughts of suicide. I have cut myself multiple times so far on my face and stomach and don't want to but it's what helps me stop crying everynight so I can finally sleep. I don't want sympathy or anything like that, I just need some help on what I NEED to do.
Just because there are forms of sexuality does not mean you need to assign yourself to one. If you are unsure then you are unsure and that is okay. Perhaps this is something that you could tell your friends so they have an understanding of what you are going through. As for your dark thoughts you may want to consider speaking to someone about them like a school counselor or even a parent. These are heavy emotions that you should not have to go through alone. If you want to talk about this further please call or text us here at the 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline. We are here 24/7 at 1-888-222-2228.
I know that it's hard to figure out your sexuality and I feel that it's especially harder for men to come out. I did tell my friends what I thought I was which was bisexual. It was only later that I realized that I was actually bi-romantic. What I'm saying is that you don't need to tell anyone about your sexuality if you don't want to. There isn't some law saying that you need to tell people. Only share this with people you feel comfortable around and people you know won't view you differently. Sadly, that might not be your current friends. I want you to know that while you are going through a rough period right now, it gets better. whatever you're going through it always gets better. Cutting yourself might feel like the only solution right now but think about why it works. Does it release your tension? Find another way to release tension (scream into a pillow, blow air into a balloon, bite down on a blanket). Does it make you feel in control? Play a game where you play as god (sims). Does it distract you from your thoughts? Do something else that distracts you (watch tv, listen to music, make a movie in your head, write a story, draw). And I just want you to know that it will get better so don't you give up on the wonderful life that you have.
Hello , I'm a Asexual female, It's going to be okay ! I came out , I got called a loser and a virgin and by the LGBT COM a person trying to be a "special snowflake" . But take your time . It's okay , don't rush ! No self harm and no suicidal thoughts !!! You have people around you that care. I promise it's going to okay. You are who you are . Remember that <3
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DISCLAIMER: 2NDFLOOR is a youth helpline designed to listen, help and guide youth in addressing challenges. Periodically, calls may be monitored for quality assurance and training purposes. You are assured anonymity and confidentiality, except in life-threatening situations. When receiving such an emergency phone call, 2NDFLOOR staff is required by law to report hurting yourself/others or abuse to the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. In life-threatening situations, call 911.
