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I am a trans boy with unsupportive family members. They say they support me (my mom, dad, and sister), but all have told me that i look like/am a girl, that its just some stupid teenage phase im going through, that i am being ridiculous, etc. I have been out for two years but have been curious about gender and all that for much longer than than that and recently I have taken a notice in liking feminine things. At first when I was transitioning I think I had a problem with trying to prove I was a boy by being very masc. I know better now and I'm still a boy, I know that, but I was raised to be interested in only feminine things. How can I be expected now that I'm out as trans to suddenly change the way I grew up? Anyways, since my family barely takes me serious at all while I am being masculine now, how can I expect any support at all while being even in the slightest bit feminine? Also, there comes the problem of passing. I have had a terrible time at school with bullies to the point where I have had food thrown on me and there has been violence. Im going to a dif. school this fall but I want it to be clear that I am a guy. I am really just looking for some advice, and if this is something I'm just going to have to deal with, that's okay. But, if you have any advice on how to be more free-willed or confident maybe that could help me? I've found that ignoring things about yourself that can't change doesn't t ever end up well. Thank you
Thank you for writing! Confidence is something that many teens struggle with and there are multiple ways to work on it. Probably one of the easiest is the self-help section of your local library or book store and look for books about improving your self-esteem and boosting your confidence...there are probably a ton. You might also want to try a website like www.thetrevorproject.org, they might have some articles and advice about improving confidence specifically for trans boys. As far as your family, it's great that they say they support you, but it would also probably be nice if their words matched their actions. You can't change others, you can only tell them how you feel and hope they see how their behaviors are impacting you. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience at your old school, the faculty should have been more responsive to those types of behaviors from your peers. Hopefully your new school is a chance to start over and be yourself. Guys can like feminine things too, they don't only have to be interested in "guy" things. Instead of labeling things as feminine and masculine, just do the things you enjoy and like. Best wishes at your new school and call or text us anytime at 888-222-2228.
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