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It almost marks two years without my best friend who I lost to suicide, and it will be two months soon for my other friend, I just really can’t live without them much longer, and I really just want to see them again, have one more message, one more late night call, one more story to write together, jokingly calling eachother siblings and a little happy online family, and know I’m the only one left, the only one left to keep their memories alive, and I can’t seem to stay alive myself.
I'm very sorry for your loss. It is very clear that you miss your friends and all the things you shared together. You sound like suicide is something you are thinking about yourself, which is never the answer to any problem you are having. First, no one knows what happens after death so a reunion is not a guarantee. You also have the ability to make more friends, enjoy your family, maybe even have one of your own one day. Think about how sad you're feeling about the loss of your friends and all the people in your life that would feel the same way about you if you were no longer here. You have options for help. Look into therapy, talk to a school counselor or call 988. Reach out for help if you ever feel like you are going to act on your thoughts, you say you have more time but don't know how much longer so it seems like you aren't planning on acting on your thoughts right now, but why live hurting. Get help and feel better. You can call us at 888-222-2228 or reach out to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988, to talk about this more in depth which would very likely be helpful for you. Sorry again about your friends.
I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. Losing friends is super hard, and it’s okay to feel really sad about it. It sounds like you had such a special bond with them, and I can understand how much you miss those late-night talks and all the fun you had together.
It’s tough feeling like you’re all alone, but remember, it’s okay to talk about your feelings. Maybe you could write down your favorite memories with them or share stories with someone who understands how you feel. Keeping their memories alive is really special, and I bet they would want you to be happy and safe.
If you’re feeling really overwhelmed, please talk to a grown-up or someone who can help. You don’t have to go through this alone. You matter a lot, and it’s important to take care of yourself. 💖
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
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DISCLAIMER: 2NDFLOOR is a youth helpline designed to listen, help and guide youth in addressing challenges. Periodically, calls may be monitored for quality assurance and training purposes. You are assured anonymity and confidentiality, except in life-threatening situations. When receiving such an emergency phone call, 2NDFLOOR staff is required by law to report hurting yourself/others or abuse to the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. In life-threatening situations, call 911.
