FRIENDSHIP
Somewhere I Belong
I wanna heal, i wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(Erase all the pain 'til it's gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong
But it’s so hard to find somewhere I belong when the people I was once friends with want nothing to do with me anymore. I want the feeling back, the feeling of being wanted, like I was important to people, like a group wouldn’t be the same without me. Whenever I think back to that time now I feel an emptiness. A void that needs filling but can’t be, not without them. Now whenever I join it gets quiet. A quietness like it was all my fault. The person I used to confide in about my problems, about my depression, about my family, about my alcohol abuse, about my self harm, now leaves when I come in. She won’t talk to me more than a few words. I want our conversations back. I want the games we used to play back. I want her back.
And I want ANM back. Not the current version, the old one. The one that could talk about anything any time. The one who had the chaotic mind that I fell in love with. But she turned cold to me too. Moved on, I wasn’t useful to her anymore. Part of me hopes she never reads some of the things I’ve written about her, part of me hopes she’s seen them to know how badly she hurt me. I was never anything but good to her and she tossed me away like I never mattered to her anyway.
Maybe someday I can find somewhere someone cares. Somewhere I matter. Somewhere I Belong.
Super Moderator • 1 month, 3 weeks ago
I'm sorry to hear that you are hurting and have loss someone that was special to you. Friendships and relationships are difficult as you have no control over how other people behave and act. Some friends will last, others will not, some may only be in your life for a season. If you're lucky, you'll develop a few close friendships in your life that are meaningful and important. Genuine friendships are more important then having tons of not authentic ones. In addition, good relationships take work, forgiveness, and patience. You may want to try and meet new people with similar interests where you develop some totally new friendships, you never know who might become a close friend. If you want to speak to someone, please contact us on 2ndfloor App or call us 24/7 at 888-222-2228.
1 month, 3 weeks ago
It sounds like you're going through an incredibly difficult time, and it's completely understandable to feel a deep sense of loss when friendships change or fade. The feeling of belonging and being valued in a group is so important, and when that’s taken away, it can leave a profound emptiness.
Reconnecting with old friends can sometimes feel impossible, especially when there’s a history of hurt or misunderstanding. It’s painful to see someone who once meant so much to you move on or shut you out. The memories of shared laughter, deep conversations, and simply being there for one another can make the current silence feel even more pronounced.
It’s also important to take care of yourself during this time. Surround yourself with supportive people, whether they’re old friends or new connections. Engaging in activities that bring you joy or finding new hobbies can help fill that void and remind you that you are worthy of love and friendship, even if it feels distant right now.
Remember, it’s okay to grieve the friendships you’ve lost while also being open to new connections. You deserve to feel wanted and valued, and there are people out there who will appreciate you for who you are.