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So I think I'm pansexual probably or bi and I really want to come out to my family. My mother passed away and my dad moved out and I live with my sister now and she takes great care of me but i wanna tell her so bad but I don't know how she would take it. Would she be mad? Supportive? I just don't know. And I just don't know how to say it and I want to talk about it with my school counselor but I don't know if she would call and tell my sister about it. I just want to be out and comfortable and I don't want her to think it's a generation trend or anything. I remember one time, she was talking to her boyfriend about ever having a baby and she asked him "What if he or she was gay?" and they both said they would still love them but I wonder if she would say the same thing about me. My friends know and stuff but I'm just worried about my sister and my family accepting it.
I'm really glad you're reaching out to get some support right now. I'm also sorry to hear about the pain you've previously experienced regarding the loss of your mother. It's great that you have the ability to advocate for yourself in receiving help, as you are doing now. Although you have never spoken to your sister about your sexual identity, it seems as though she has already broached the subject and verbalized her acceptance and understanding with her boyfriend. However, it's understandable that you may be experiencing some anxiety regarding opening up to her. Speaking to your school counselor or a teacher you trust can be a great first step. Since you are not in danger of harming yourself or others, it's highly unlikely that your school counselor would be obligated to speak to your sister and family about it. Your school counselor can help you to explore the dynamics of how to approach the conversation with your sister and family members. Many individuals find it helpful to "test the waters" with their loved ones by bringing up LGBT issues and seeing how they initially respond. It can also be helpful to hear from others who have shared their true sexual identity with loved ones. Here are some links where you can do just that:
http://www.rucomingout.com/
http://whenicameout.com/
It can be helpful to remember that coming out is an extremely personal experience that you can tailor to your own wants and needs. For example, if you feel more comfortable writing a letter to your sister and family, that may be the best choice for you. Additionally, you get to choose when you decide to come out. If you still feel uncertain about disclosing your identity to your family, remember that you can take as much time as you need until you are ready. Regardless of how your family may respond, it sounds as though you have a strong support system in your friends and social circle. Don't be afraid to lean on them if you need to. You are not alone! If you need any further support, feel free to reach out to us 24/7 at 888-222-2228 via call or text. Thank you for contacting 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline.
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
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