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Schoolwork has always been easy. The thing that bothers me most is essentially the people and kids there. First, I hate eye contact a lot, and people always think I'm not paying attention when I'm not looking them in the eye. It’s also really loud because the kids, for some reason, need to be the most obnoxious they can whenever they can. I did like going to the library and sitting behind the last row of bookshelves because it’d be quiet, and I would have some peace, at least for 15 minutes of the day. But the librarian suddenly decided we had to stay in the middle (where she plays YouTube videos and there are also a million other people). I understand we’re only 7th graders, but I don’t think it warrants as much immaturity as there is present. Cancer and suicide jokes are always made, which are unfunny. There’s always complete disrespect and disregard for the teachers who are also rude. They’re always yelling. I don’t mean like yelling; I mean YELLING. Really loud yelling, like your kid got expelled kind of yelling. And they’re always telling us to “shut up” or to “shut your mouth,” which I get 13-year-olds can be frustrating, I’m sure I am too, but I don’t think you’re meant to talk to kids that aren’t yours that way. I have literally no friends because my only one moved schools. It sounds like I can have no fun, but I can. I just think you can be a kid without being disrespectful and irking. Another thing is presentations. We have so many on acting. I hate presentations already on their own, but ACTING? It’s not like I'm taking drama. Why couldn’t it just be a book report? I basically had a panic attack over it, and my dad just got pissed off about it when I wouldn’t stop crying and proceeded to yell at me. And then when I also couldn’t stop crying because of the yelling, he got even more mad at me. I don’t want to get into the details but it was pretty bad considering police were called, but I got it settled in the end. My dad also complains a lot about how I ‘don’t take care of myself’ or ‘am too quiet’. He complains about how I don’t really smile around others or start conversations, but what am I meant to do? It just doesn’t come naturally. It’s also like if he sees anything other than 100%, I've slacked. In Algebra I, I’ve only missed half a point this entire year, but instead of realizing I’ve missed so little, he notices that I’ve missed something. For my age, I think it’s pretty good, but I get so frustrated when he says things like that. We have iReady diagnostics, and I got 10th in math and in reading, but in one of the domains, I got 8th, which is still a grade above me, and suddenly he got all pissed about it. Jeez, sorry I don’t know every math formula on this planet? Meanwhile, my sister can get like a year behind, and it’s as if she won the Nobel prize for science. My mom moved like halfway across the country in 2022, and I got into a gifted school over there, but I said no so that I could stay with my dad. I thought my dad was more understanding than my mom. Actually no. This’ll sound really selfish and dumb, but my mom had a baby with her new husband despite having 5 miscarriages and me obviously stating each time I didn’t like the idea of it. It’s like what I wanted never mattered to her. I decided I wouldn't form a relationship with her baby, and I'm still sticking by it. She, however, won’t quit pushing it. I don't hate babies, and I know I'm just bitter, but that's how I'm going to stay. Her friends also keep telling her that I have an open heart and I'll come around to it, but I'm so sure they’re the reason my parents are divorced or why she moved in the first place. Plus, my mom plays the victim and said “I don’t want to make (my name) sad because I already gave her a hard life.” Okay then, maybe start by fixing what you can? Anyway, I live with my dad, and now I'm not sure who to live with. I mean, he has anger issues and quite frankly probably shouldn’t live with someone who is as irritating as me, but it’s either this or I go to my mom who is also prone to getting really mad at me. My dad's mom is rude to me. She always calls me names and occasionally hits me, then she asks why I don’t like her? I get this would be normal in the 1900s, but you’re not even my parent. I have to share a room with her, and I really am grateful to have a roof over my head, but even the sight of her ruins my day. I am not exactly an anime person, but I do find interest in a few, and she, for some reason, decided to throw out my $80 figurine, which was one of two I have, or had, because she broke the other one. My dad doesn’t want to replace them, and it upsets me because I had waited a while to get them. She also has been complaining for the past two years at like 3 in the morning that she’s going to die. She’s gone to the doctor a million times, and nothing is wrong. I also hate it when she nags about stuff. It might sound sweet that she asks me about 30 times if I want to eat within the span of an hour, but I don’t think there’s anything more annoying. I'm fairly independent, and I feel like it should be clear. Is this all some miscommunication, or is she doing this to frustrate me? I went so off track. Sorry. Anyway, I just want to know if I'm being dramatic because while I don’t really think I am, everyone else seems to think so.
Hello. Glad you reached out. It sounds like you’re overwhelmed with a lot of things that are going on and that’s OK. Family Relationships can be challenging But also rewarding. It’s never easy to share a space with someone, but you’re right being grateful for having a roof over your head is a good attitude because it is true, many people don’t have that. Have you ever thought about getting some counseling? It’s a safe space for you to be able to talk about your life and feelings. It could be very helpful for you, so maybe you could talk to your parents about getting some counseling?! Also finding an outlet that would help you release some stress and feelings of being overwhelmed. Exercise, journal, Volunteer somewhere, when you’re stressed try putting on a funny movie or series laughter is good for you. It releases endorphins.
In school if something is overwhelming for you, try and reach out to your guidance counselor and discuss some concerns you have about your free time in the library and is there anyway that you can have a space where you can have some quiet. Even talk to your guidance counselor about some of the stresses that you’re facing at School and Home. They are a resource that you have available to you. Hope this helped you and if you want to talk again, please text or call 2NDFLOOR anytime at 888-222-2228.
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
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