GENERAL
Well.. (TW SH)
I can’t tell if I’m getting better or not. Lately I’ve been feeling okay, but I’ve been having thoughts of self harm, and sometimes suicide. I can’t actually bring myself to do it, but every time I think I may get hurt, or a physical injury, I see it as preparation for me to do self harm. I have gently sliced my arm with a thumbtack and called that preparation as well, though I think doing that was promoted since I might’ve seen someone with scars on them. I think I feel like I have to sh to verify my feelings of possible depression.
I can’t really tell. I sometimes feel like I balance between life and death. Sometimes I don’t want to be here, and sometimes I don’t mind. But in the end, I still feel as if I have no purpose. I can’t recall any traumatic events, and life has been good for me. I don’t know why I feel like this. I’m not really suffering to say, more like uncomfortable from time to time.
Super Moderator • 1 year, 7 months ago
Glad you reached out to us. If you feel that you will act on your thoughts of suicide, please reach out by calling 988 which is the suicide and crisis lifeline, here is the link https://988lifeline.org/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox. Or you can call or text 2NDFLOOR anytime at 888-222-2228. There is help so don’t hesitate to reach out and it sounds like that is what you are trying to do. Acknowledge that for yourself that you have the courage to reach out! It’s okay to not be okay all the time too. I wanted to proved a resource for healthy alternative self harming so here is one at https://keltymentalhealth.ca/blog/2020/02/alternatives-self-injury. It does sound like you are having some overwhelming thoughts and it’s important to try and express them in a safe space and way. Maybe try to talk to a trusted person in your life or even a therapist. Having that support can be a game changer. Also figuring out some healthy coping skills to utilize when you have urges. Feeling better is a journey so give yourself the time to do it and you can feel better. Here is another resource @ https://www.mentalhealthishealth.us/mental-health-101/ it offers tools to help. Hope this helps you and if you want to talk again we are always here, texting or calling