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I recently gave my partner another chance to change his ways and make our relationship stronger and better. He tried so hard to get that chance and he was acting so differently in a good way. I've never seen him try this hard in the previous years dating. So I gave him his chance but I did tell him if he wasn't going to try I will leave and not come back. Previous years I was always the only one trying to better the relationship and he wasn't. Once school was over he was trying a little bit, little less then what he was first doing. Then I started to notice and I didn't like it. He was just not caring anymore and not trying like before. And I know no one is perfect but it doesn't take so much to let someone know that you care for them and love them, etc. Recently like yesterday I went through his phone and he was always so jumpy about me taking his phone. And I already knew that I would find something and I did. I found messages between him and a girl that use to talk as more than friends while we weren't dating anymore. And I wondered to myself why keep texting the same girl you didn't want to date while you were in the process of getting me back. I just kept wondering am I not enough? So then soon enough he I did exactly what he did and text one of the people I use to text like he was and he got mad. But it's the same thing. And he would always say it's different bc I dated the person I texted but it's the same thing. Then he blocked me the whole day and I didn't know what to do. He left my house mad and I didn't know what to do. I felt bad but then I didn't bc he wasn't trying anymore so why should I? But I love this kid so much that I would kill myself for him. And I was thinking of doing it, I still am
I want to first start by saying that if you are having thoughts of killing yourself, then you should go to the hospital's ER so you can get help right away. You can also call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 which can help with a crisis as well. I don't know if you are saying this because you are extremely hurt or you truly feel this way, but either way you should talk to someone about this, a counselor, or a trusted friend or relative. Don't stuff your feelings. I can understand that being betrayed by your boyfriend or a heartbreak can make you sad, but no one is worth taking your own life!!
Now as far as letting go, this is up to you but ask yourself some questions, do you think your emotional well being is worth being compromised for this guy? do you feel in your heart that he is in the relationship for the long haul? Are you happier more of the time then sad or no? It sounds like you already know the answer to these questions so take some time to decide and take care of yourself before him anyway. Again, reach out to someone you trust because venting about your stress can help.
If you need further assistance or want to talk more about this then don’t hesitate to call 2NDFLOOR at any time at 888-222-2228. We are here 24/7 to help you! You can also text us daily from 4-8PM.
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
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DISCLAIMER: 2NDFLOOR is a youth helpline designed to listen, help and guide youth in addressing challenges. Periodically, calls may be monitored for quality assurance and training purposes. You are assured anonymity and confidentiality, except in life-threatening situations. When receiving such an emergency phone call, 2NDFLOOR staff is required by law to report hurting yourself/others or abuse to the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. In life-threatening situations, call 911.
