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i’m a 15 year old second year in high school. i’m a girl and i have one sister. mental health is something i know my family struggles with, and i have cousins taking therapy for anxiety/depression problems. only issue is, no one in my immediate family has ever gone to therapy before, and i don’t want to go for mental health. i have a very strong feeling that i was assaulted or abused in someway as a child and blocked it out my whole life. i never thought about when it may have happened, but while talking to my mom about wether or not she thinks im introverted, she brought up how i used to be loud and outgoing but then ‘went quiet’ at around 10-11. i’ve been doing research and found out it’s common for survivors of childhood sexual assault to lose communication abilities as their experience weakens them. there are also instances in the past that i know i did not react to normally. about a month ago i visited my grandma for her birthday. she kissed me goodbye on the neck. i pushed her away and cried in silence the whole car ride home. it made me feel so disgusting but i didn’t know why. i’ve also always had a problem with people touching my back, specifically by my shoulders and neck. once with my family in my room, my dad got on top of the bed while i was on my stomach and sort of pushed me up and down to make me laugh. but the hold he had on my shoulders made me scream and i yelled at everyone to get out of the room. these are only a few instances, but there’s even more that i know i don’t remember. my mom was trying to explain to family why i don’t like having my shoulders touched, and she mentioned asking me if i had every been touched before, but i couldn’t remember her saying that. it’s like all memories of what could’ve happened are impossible for me to reach. anyways, my real question is how could i bring these things up to my family (more specifically my mom) and when would be the right time? i tried before and ended up breaking down, and then we just never spoke about it again. i want to be clear and open about my reasons for wanting therapy as well and i don’t know how to say that either. are there anyways i could force myself to remember either? please help.
I recognize that you are seeking to gain a deeper insight into yourself and your mental health. It is important not to jump to conclusions or rely solely on online searches to explain your reactions to physical touch. It is essential that your personal space is respected, and no one should touch you without your consent. While I understand your reluctance to pursue therapy, I believe it could be advantageous for you to explore your emotions and self-awareness. Consider asking your mother to help you schedule an appointment. Therapy can provide a valuable opportunity to process your feelings, which seems to be something you may need at this time.
He I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's important to talk to someone who can help you, like a mental health professional or a trusted adult. Sending you love and good vibes.
I know exactly how you feel I was there ones idk if you have siblings or not, but if you do have siblings that are close to you and you feel comfortable talking with them about this I do recommend telling them about the therapy part and maybe trying to get them to tell your parents, my sister did this for me a couple years back when I needed it there and I didn’t know how to get it or if you don’t have siblings and you have a cousin who was like really close to you like a sibling then you can do that as well you can like. Do a whole set up and make them talk to your parents all concerned about like saying that I think that. _____ should really consider therapy of course like don’t just put it out there elaborate about stuff
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