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I used to be very suicidal and depressed in middle school and I even remember my plan to kill myself ( the day I would do it, who would get letters, the time, e.t.c). I'm now in Highschool and recently I constantly think about it. I wouldn't say I'm suicidal but, I am depressed ( I feel like I go through waves of depression) and I get scared that I might feel suicidal again. I still get these waves of sadness and numbness at certain times where I just feel so tired of everything and everyone. I'm in therapy but I find it very hard to truly open up. I feel like I've never truly healed emotionally from my suicide attempt and I want to talk about it with my therapist but I'm unsure how to go about it. Sometimes I feel like I'm behind in knowing my future because growing up was never part of the plan. But I've also noticed recently that whenever I feel numb, self-harm or suicide is a thought that I have. Can you give me advice on how to go about this in general or with my therapist?
Glad you reached out to us. It’s really important for you to talk honestly with your therapist so that they can help you in the right manner. If they don’t know these thoughts are creeping back in then they might assume you’re thinking healthier. I get it might not be the easiest conversation but it’s a safe space for you to express your thoughts. Try Journaling and write down some of your struggle, you can ever write down some things that you want to talk about to your therapist but might be nervous about. If you think you will act on your thoughts of suicide, please call 988 right away so that someone can help out to you asap, this is the suicide and crisis lifeline. Also reach out to a trusted person in your life that you can confide in if you have one. Talking can help. We are always here 24/7 as well. You can text or call 2NDFLOOR at 888-222-2228. An additional resource to look over for coping tools is https://www.mentalhealthishealth.us/.
I am so grateful you reached out to 2ndfloor. I know it can be challenging to open up to others, but like the comment above said, it is extremely important for you to tell your therapist about how you are feeling. As for how to go about it, it is best to be as honest and open as you can be. While being vulnerable may be uncomfortable, your therapist is there to help you and will be able to give the best advice they can once they understand exactly what you are feeling and thinking. I would also suggest talking to someone close to you who you feel comfortable with and who you can trust. It is best not to keep these feelings hidden. You are meant to be here. Again, if you think you will act on these thoughts, please call the suicide and crisis hotline immediately, The number is 988. Someone will answer and offer help in any way they can. You can also reach out to 2ndfloor by call or text. Our phone number is 888-222-2228.
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
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DISCLAIMER: 2NDFLOOR is a youth helpline designed to listen, help and guide youth in addressing challenges. Periodically, calls may be monitored for quality assurance and training purposes. You are assured anonymity and confidentiality, except in life-threatening situations. When receiving such an emergency phone call, 2NDFLOOR staff is required by law to report hurting yourself/others or abuse to the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. In life-threatening situations, call 911.
