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So many people say that there are people out there who are willing to help, and actually care -- and so many resources to tap into, yet when it comes to me and as alienated as I am as is, nobody really is willing to help me. It's so hypocritical of me to say this when I am myself a hotline counselor volunteer and been so for a while, and should no matter, yet I just can't seem to see the "help and support" that people claim exists. For one, in my textline service that I volunteer at, I keep wondering if there's anyone there willing to be of a support, someone that will listen to me with my own identity (meaning not as a person texting in)-- but I don't know if that's possible or how to reach out to my own community or peers. I don't feel like anyone will want to "support" me. The service by the way is Crisis Textline P.S and I don't want it to affect my professionality -- but I am needing support myself and it's a bit weird for me to be on the other side now; the "helpee".
I already have such amazing coping tools, but you also have to understand that a lot of the times when my heart is aching for love, support and belonging, coping skills isn't going to do it. It's like trying to help a deaf person see better to navigate the world more clearly, I'm hoping you can empathize my frustration here. SEcond of all, while yes, I have a therapist, I'm also hoping I can get an understanding that therapy is 45 min once a week, and there goes a lot into it. It's more important what I do and how I reach out in between those sessions, so when people refer me back to therapy, that defeats the whole purpose because the goal should be to focus on other things in therapy. Also, emphasizng how misleading it is to say, "there's so many supports out there" if I am always going to get referred to my therapist whenever I reach out to those who told me to in the first place. All these frustrations came from things Ive heard so please address them, and Im going this is a place I can feel heard.
I feel like everyone is setting me up where they tell me to reach out when I struggle, suddenly when I gather up the courage to do so, they belittle me and are like but coping skills (although 90% of my problem is lack of support in my life) and right when I need help, no one is there as promised. So when I start to bring down because of me feeling neglected and like Ive been mislead, everyone starts to come at me to act like the samaritan or for service to make profit of my pain.
Why should suicide not be an option? Besides the fact that you are told it shouldn't.
Hey! I am glad you reached out! They always say that no one needs more help then those that give the help which is why it is important for companies to provide good supervisors to talk to. Is it possible to find out if there is anyone with such a role within your agency? Remember they may not be able to talk about the core of whats going on but they should still be able to lend an ear and help where they can. Remember that most people out there that want to provide support may only know how to do so at a surface level, such as minor troubles with friends, family, fashion, health, etc. However they may not know how to respond if the content becomes more than that. It isn't because they don't want to be a support for you when they refer you to your therapist it is probably more so because they don't want to misguide you. So please don't be discouraged from reaching out! People do want to help you but if it gets to a point where they don't know how to then they don't want to pretend like they do. Sometimes it may even help to warn someone about what you need by saying to them "hey I really need someone to talk to, could you listen?" this way they know you aren't looking for answers but can be there to listen. Then take the core concerns with your therapist during your meetings with them. If you need to perhaps formulate a list of content to address with the therapist to help guide your sessions so you get the most out of them.
It does sound like you are on to something when you say that most of what you are feeling is probably from a lack of support. Do you have any friends that you can try to connect with? Is it possible to join any groups so you can meet new people and get yourself out there? You are right in saying that coping skills can only do so much, so don't deny them when you need them but in order to find and establish relationships it involves a little more. Perhaps intertwining coping skills with getting yourself out there would be cool. Like if you enjoy reading as a coping skill then maybe joining a book club would be a neat way of meeting people with similar interest or joining an art group if you prefer art.
Finally suicide should not be an option because our lives ARE within our control, we control our destiny and how we want it to be. Take control, make your life how you want it! If you do find yourself considering suicide an option please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1(800) 273-8255 or us here at 2NDFLOOR. If you would like to talk about this or anything else further you can contact 2NDFLOOR anytime 24/7 via text or call at 1(888)222-2228.
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
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DISCLAIMER: 2NDFLOOR is a youth helpline designed to listen, help and guide youth in addressing challenges. Periodically, calls may be monitored for quality assurance and training purposes. You are assured anonymity and confidentiality, except in life-threatening situations. When receiving such an emergency phone call, 2NDFLOOR staff is required by law to report hurting yourself/others or abuse to the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. In life-threatening situations, call 911.
