General
I’ve sort of been feeling like I’m balancing on life and death. Life feels unreal, and sometimes I feel like I don’t belong in this world, or that I’m just a blur. It’s hard to describe. I get into these moods where I feel down, and want to disappear, or these other moods where I don’t feel like eating even though I’m hungry. Sometimes I feel like life isn’t for me, and I genuinely become confused on the human life and what it even means to be human. Am I less human than anyone else?
I don’t know if this is a mental health struggle or not, but for the most part I’m alright I think. It’s either I’m actually fine, or too distracted to notice.
There’s been times where I wanted to just drop dead, though nothing has happened to me. I don’t know why. Maybe I’m just lazy and feel like doing tasks is taking up energy? I don’t know. I’ve already tried therapy once, but that didn’t last long. How will I know if therapy will even help? I get so nervous when asking my mother about it. It’s sort of embarrassing. I vent to my friends sometimes but I never feel heard. No one listens to me in the way that makes me feel listened to. I don’t know what to do anymore.