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Dating
Over the summer, I met this really great guy over a chat site, and we started talking and flirting and stuff. I ended up telling him stuff about what's going on in my family life, and he was completely understanding. He told me about his anxiety, insecurities, depression, and we would face time to talk more in depth. We both ended up having strong feeling for the other, but he was not ready to date since he had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship with someone who was cheating on him the whole time. Since we were in different grade levels, and he lived in North Jersey, we wouldn't see each other when we went back to school. When I went back to school, there were a bunch of new kids since a new school was built and another was shut down. One of those new kids and I ended up dating. I remember in the heat of the moment I said yes because I was excited and shocked because I didn't expect this to happen. The only thing is, I wish I didn't. I still have really strong feelings for the other guy. I've been crying about him and wishing it was him I was with. I don't want to hurt the other guy, because I am his first girlfriend, but I don't want to keep thinking about this. I miss talking to the other guy, and this is the longest we have gone without talking. I don't know what to do and I need advice.
I understand you're in a tough situation. I mean if you don't have true feelings for your boyfriend and are thinking about this other guy all the time, especially when you are with your boyfriend than it seems like the best thing would be to break it off. I understand that you don't want to hurt his feelings and that is very nice of you, but there is a way to approach it in the least possible hurtful way. You can just simply say something like "You're a really great guy and I like you, but my feelings for you are more like a friend." So by saying something like this it avoids the more hurtful way of telling him you can't stop thinking about this other guy, etc....This is the fairest thing to do for both him and yourself. If you would like to talk about this further you can call or text us anytime at the 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline. We are here 24/7 at 888-222-2228. Good luck!
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DISCLAIMER: 2NDFLOOR is a youth helpline designed to listen, help and guide youth in addressing challenges. Periodically, calls may be monitored for quality assurance and training purposes. You are assured anonymity and confidentiality, except in life-threatening situations. When receiving such an emergency phone call, 2NDFLOOR staff is required by law to report hurting yourself/others or abuse to the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. In life-threatening situations, call 911.
