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I am now a junior in college but am still close to my 6th grade math teacher. I have stayed in touch with her over the years; my sisters both had her for math after me, and she helped me through a really rough academic patch my first semester sophomore year. When I was assaulted in the second semester of my sophomore year, my parents distanced themselves from me for reasons I don't quite know, but this teacher found out what had happened because of reading the university news in her local paper and emailed me at my university email to find out if I was okay. She and I also have very similar interests--art history, writing and hiking while my own family members seem to enjoy staying home or obsessing over making the perfect lunch or dinner. I couldn't care less about those things.
I see the stark difference between my family members and me after now having been at college for a few years and having studied abroad with a host family my freshman year. I respect my parents and am glad that they raised me with morals and values, but I see this math teacher as more of a mother to me (in the sense that she understands). I am extremely fond of her and worry about her when I hear that she is sick, just as I would worry about my mom. Am I right to feel guilty for feeling this way? I try to broach the subject with my parents but they always break down and call me unappreciative, tell me to "ask that family then to raise me." It just exacerbates the guilt.
Is there a reason you can't appreciate both your family and your teacher? There are many people that we come across in our lives that we learn to love and respect. It doesn't have to be family or your teacher...it can be family AND your teacher. While you may not agree on all things, there probably are some things that you do agree on or appreciate about them. It may just take some time to figure out what those things are. In the mean time, you have absolutely no reason to feel guilty for having a close relationship with your teacher. You can have more than one person or group of people that inspire and influence you. Call us anytime at 888-222-2228.
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
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