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Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm a cis straight guy who's never been in a relationship (or any dating experience whatsoever) before. Whenever there's a really pretty girl that I like in my class, or where I work, or at a social gathering, I resist every urge to try and talk to her. I've been called shy a lot, but I'm also very reserved in general (I just don't always feel like talking) and I might be on the autism spectrum (never had an official diagnosis but have shown signs since I was in preschool). So when I actually want to talk to someone, I have no idea what to do. Even worse, after realizing I can't talk to someone I like or failing to do so, I get really angry with myself and just depressed in general, and this often results in self-abuse and self-loathing (I'll sometimes hit things and tell myself "you're worthless" and "what's wrong with you"). And when I do things like this it often results in thinking "what's the point, if you're this emotionally unstable you're not ready for any type of relationship with a girl". I hope I'm wrong in thinking this. If this is a sign of something serious please let me know what it is and what I can do about it. I want to improve my social skills, but its going to take some time and I don't want to feel as though I have to straight-up avoid any girls I like until then. I guess I'd like a first step; something I don't need to practice and can do whenever (if such a thing exists). And as I've said, if this is something more serious and I simply need to avoid these interactions altogether, I'll understand. Im currently registered therapy for major depressive disorder and social anxiety, but havent started anything yet. This post was inspired by a recent experience I had at picnic I went to with family and friends (friends of the family, not my friends). I've been at several of these social gatherings with these same people over the course of months. There was an older girl there (I'm 20, she's 23 I think) who I wouldn't say I "like" but feel kind of intimidated by because I've always thought she was really beautiful. We've never spoke. I left the picnic feeling shitty, even though I went in with the intention of just keeping to myself. My dad noticed my change in mood, but this is something I don't feel comfortable talking about with him (it's really embarrassing for me, and he's not very emotionally supportive when it comes to giving me "girl advice"). Not that I necessarily want advice per se, but rather just to understand what I'm feeling, why I'm feeling it, and what I can do to about it. I feel like there's more I can say, but since this post is pretty long already, I'll just leave it here and fill in any gaps you may find if/when you find them. Thank you for your time.
Glad you reached out to us! So it sounds like you probably are experiencing some social anxiety from what you described in your post. Definitely a good idea to seek therapy from a professional counselor so I am glad to hear that you are going to start that soon. Also, some of the reactions to these situations can be normal as well, maybe don't overthink it too much. Overthinking causes unhappiness so try to focus on the moment, lots of people can be shy talking to someone they are attracted to or even experience social anxiety around family. Here are two links that can may be helpful for you @ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/social-anxiety-disorder.htm & https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/shyness-is-nice/201305/must-have-coping-strategies-social-anxiety. I hope this helps you some and if you need to talk further you can call us or text us anytime at 888-222-2228.
i thought I could trust this person but this person is talking behind my back
I had my life I have fake friends and at home I feel like I don't belong
Hey man. You should try, try and once again try.
It seems impossible to approach someone most of the time I understand. But there's a trick. You see a person. And start counting. On number three just initiate, without a plan or something. Just ask time, ask the way, pretend that you know that person million options. Yes at first it's going to be awkward, but, you know if you suck at something it means that you're already on the way to be good at it. Here some bits of advice on how to how to meet women (https://mymagicbrides.com/blog/how-to-meet-women/).
It's going to be a bit easier every time you do it! but you should do it every day that's the hard part.
Whish you much luck
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