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I am a Muslim. In case you didn't know, Muslims are not allowed to date, and generally have close friendships with boys. but we still have feelings. My parents always loved my sis more; i barely got any love; and after 13 years of my life of not caring; the only thing they care about is me getting amazing grades. My sis is getting married to our cousin; whom i happened t fall in love with. I am so tired of my life; i am countlessly falling in love with boys in my school whom i see everyday(not just looks but personality too), knowing i will never have them. They dontt even see me, and i know i will never have a chance with them(my scarf covers all my beauty). i am sooo tired of life, but i cant even commit suicide because my religion doesn't allow it.
I have imaginary friends. I cant see them, but they are there. they are my comfort, the only people who love me. It may be a famous person, or a made up, but its always like a boyfriend, fioncee, or husband. and i know theirs something wrong with me, but i cant let go of them. They are the only ones who love me, and its like ive got anohter life; hidden all to myself. IM going crazy! i don't know what to do. How do i get rid of this pain.
I can only imagine how you are feeling, it sounds like there are many things that are on your mind recently. Although you state that your religion stops you from committing suicide I just want to let you know that if you are having thoughts of suicide to contact 911 or the suicide prevention lifeline immediately at 1-800-273-8255. Have you considered talking to your parents about the way you are feeling? Would your parents or religion consider letting you see a counselor/therapist? It sounds like these things you are dealing with each day could be something that a professional could help you to develop coping skills for. I don't think you are crazy at all, but it is a lot for one person to deal with on their own. I encourage you to talk to an adult you trust about how you are feeling so they can get you the help that you need. If you want to talk more you can call/text 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline 24/7 at 888-222-2228.
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
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DISCLAIMER: 2NDFLOOR is a youth helpline designed to listen, help and guide youth in addressing challenges. Periodically, calls may be monitored for quality assurance and training purposes. You are assured anonymity and confidentiality, except in life-threatening situations. When receiving such an emergency phone call, 2NDFLOOR staff is required by law to report hurting yourself/others or abuse to the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. In life-threatening situations, call 911.
