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Disordered Eating
I can’t love myself or let anyone else love me when I hate what I see in the mirror. It’s just fat fat fat. I’ve lost 30lbs but I feel uglier now than ever. No one will love me while I’m like this, not cus they can’t but because subconsciously I won’t allow it. I wasn’t born to be this fucking fat. Idk I hate caring sm but I do. I wish I could just let these people in but I can’t not when I hate myself sm,
It is great that you are aware of your subconscious because most people are driven by it and totally unaware! It sounds like maybe you might want to speak with a nutritionist that can help you achieve a healthy lifestyle and speak with a therapist as well that can help you work on your insecurities so you can start loving yourself. The relationship you have with yourself is the most important one in life.
Thank you for sharing what you're experiencing; it takes a lot of courage to open up about these feelings. I’m really sorry to hear that you're struggling with how you see yourself. It’s heartbreaking to feel weighed down by self-hatred, especially when you're working hard to change things in your life.
Losing weight is a significant accomplishment, and it’s tough when you feel like it hasn’t led to the positive feelings you hoped for. Remember, your worth is not defined by your appearance or a number on the scale. It's important to be kind to yourself and recognize that self-love is a journey, and it’s okay to seek help along the way.
Opening up to others is challenging, especially when you're feeling this way about yourself. It might be helpful to talk to a trusted friend or a mental health professional who can help you navigate these feelings. You deserve love and support, from yourself and others.
Be gentle with yourself, and know that it's okay to take small steps towards self-acceptance. You’re not alone in this, and there are people who care and want to support you.
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
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