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I'm so glad you're reaching out to get some support. First off, congratulations on your 1 year of recovery! It takes strength and courage to heal from pain, so that's something you can feel proud of! It sounds like the memory you shared from your childhood is very confusing and frightening to think about, which is totally normal and understandable. Although you mention your OCD "tells" you that you won't be able to move on from this memory, it seems like you also recognize the skills you already have to cope effectively. Talking to others about your experience is one of the first steps to feeling better, which you're doing right now! If you are currently receiving any therapy or counseling, it can be helpful to discuss the memories that you are becoming aware of with your counselor/therapist. Speaking about the memories and processing your feelings in a safe environment can make the memories less scary, have less power over you, and give you the tools to deal with them. If you'd like to begin or restart counseling, it can be helpful to tell an adult you trust, such as your parents/guardians or a school counselor. Many people find that engaging in a hobby they enjoy, like journaling, drawing/painting, playing with pets, doing exercise/yoga, can help them to relieve stress and cope with difficult feelings. Finding an activity you enjoy and engaging in it when you're feeling overwhelmed can be another tool in your coping toolbox. Spending time with others you care about, such as family and friends, can also help you to feel better. If you'd like to receive more support, please feel free to reach out to talk or text 24/7 at 888-222-2228. Thank you for contacting 2NDFLOOR Youth Helpline!

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