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i don't feel safe in my own house anymore, my mom doesn't trust me, my dads not home, im just trying really hard to earn back my moms trust but it never works, and i always seem to be sinking deeper into this hole. i have one year left in high school after this school year, so i'm trying my best but i'm just so exhausted all the time. my mom has called me lazy and said i'm not depressed or anxious and i don't have any mental illness, im just not putting in the effort which really hurt.
That must be really tough that there’s no trust between you and your mom, but you mentioned that you’re working on earning her trust so maybe it just will take some time. All you can do is your part because you can’t control how your mom is going to react or feel. if you need someone to talk to, you can go to your guidance counselor to vent and let some stress out. You mentioned that you don’t feel safe though, and if that’s the case, you can always call DCPP at 1-877 NJ ABUSE (tel:1-877%20NJ%20ABUSE), not sure if that’s what you meant. Do you think if you talk to your mom about this it might help if there’s a neutral party. trusted person in your life? Aunt? Uncle? Or something like that can help sometimes. Maybe think about getting some counseling and try some coping skills for stress. This is a great resource https://www.mentalhealthishealth.us/mental-health-101/. Hang in there and if you want to talk again, you can always text or call 2NDFLOOR at 888-222-2228 (tel:888-222-2228).
It must feel really difficult trying to rebuild trust with your mom and only feel like things are getting worse, but that's great that you're trying to rebuild your relationship with her. The only thing you can control is your own words and actions, not the way that she interprets them. You're doing your best and that's the important part. You mentioned that you don't feel safe in your house and you have one year left of high school. Is there any other family members or safe person that you can stay with during this last year or after you finish high school?
I'm sorry you're going through this with your parents. High school is tough and its definitely not easy. It might not seem like it now but everything is going to get better. Your mom loves you. Why don't your try to do something nice for her? Maybe make dinner or write her a thoughtful letter? At the end of the day giving your best is the only thing you can do. I hope things start to get better and know you're not alone!
Trying to rebuild trust in a relationship can be difficult because there are always two people in a relationship. You can only really control what you do and the effort you make. So focus on yourself and making choices that feel good to you. You sound very self aware and mature and like you really want to fix this, so keep at it. If you continue to make an effort, hopefully your mom will notice and you can rebuild this relationship together. If you don't feel safe at home, maybe go to a relative or a friend and see if you can spend some nights with them.
I am so sorry you are experiencing this right now. It must be rough having to gain your mother's trust while trying to finish high school. Are you able to have a calm and honest conversation with her? It may be worthwhile talking with her and expressing how you want to gain back her trust and how much it hurts you that you don't have it. Also, ask what you can do to gain back her trust. Maybe there is something specific she is expecting from you. There is no problem with asking the person you need to fix a relationship with on how to do so. If you choose to have this conversation with her, hopefully you are able to gain some insight and truly begin to repair the relationship. In addition, keep doing your best - ultimately that is what you have the most control over in this situation. I hope everything starts to get better soon!
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