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I struggle a lot with mental illnesses and I used to have a close community of friends (everyone at our school is a bully so we have to stick together) and most of us were either part of LGBTQ and or struggling with mental illnesses. There was one friend I was particularly close with (let's say H) who also struggled a lot. We became close friends and she lamented how hard her life was, we both got progressively worse mentally but we stayed close over the summer as we were the only ones who cared for the other. In the new school year truths came to life and to cut a long story short she lied. About everything, H used to get me so concerned saying she was overdosing or she got beat up, everything you can think of, but it was almost all a lie, I was hurt but I just ignored it. And then later over text me and another friend confronted her about it and H and her friend (lets say L) started trash talking us and insulting us and I was honestly scared I just wanted to work things out so we could be on good terms and H gets better or worse come to worse we separate as friend but no one gets hurt. But L took it too far and stared scream/texting everything she hated about me and it was horrible and it ended with H and L blocking us and me feeling horrible. Time skip a couple days H and L are sitting at the table with me and my friend still, which may not sound like a big deal but to me was. After school I went to H locker with a old friend of H and we just sat in front of her locker.I don't know what our intentions were but we wanted to force her to talk to us and yeah. So we sat there H came along ignore the other guy and put her foot and my shoulder and just tried to use all her force. Me and the old frein were just having small talk and I just ignored H and shrugged my shoulder so her foot would roll off. The H who had very sharp nails brought her hand around my throat and tried to choke me Her hand didn't wrap all he way around my neck so her nails where just digging into my skin. I couldn't really breathe so I just sat there thinking and the I was like "I should do something" so i grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand off and then she did it again with more intensity and i pulled her hand off again after a couple of second an she walked away. My neck was bleeding we reported her and blh blah blah... the school did nothing I am not one to cry around others and I look very intimidating so i was just... ignored basically no matter what I said. Bunch of other stuff happened but to get to my point. At the beginning Mr "friend" hated her but then my supposed "tight-knit community of friends" disappeared, they all started ignoring me and became friend with H and the few that stayed only were friend with me when it is convenient. I don't know what to do, do I just continue being friend with people who just make me miserable and I cant trust or do what. I tried making new friend but nobody in my school wants new friend and I know everyone personally. Im so lost
That sounds like it would be very upsetting. You mentioned that you’ve been struggling for a little bit with your mental health have you tried to reach out to a therapist to talk? It sounds like it could be beneficial for you so you can talk in a safe space and navigate what has happened and talk about your mental health. As far as friendships sometimes they come and go and change. The real friendships that are solid will stick around and be there and the ones that are not will show themselves. It does sound like staying in friendships that aren’t supportive of you and wishy-washy would not be beneficial for you and your mental health. I’m glad to hear that you did report H’s behavior regardless of what the outcome was it’s not OK for someone to behave like that. And as far as what happened between the two of you at this point, just try to take it as a lesson and live and learn from it. I completely understand how that would be hurtful and confusing that she was one way and then another way, but that’s her journey and you don’t have to be a part of it. Just know that, even though you may not feel that way now, there is help and people who can support you, so maybe think about talking to your parents? A trusted adult? A therapist? Just someone who can offer some support. Here is a resource that offers some coping skills at https://www.mentalhealthishealth.us/mental-health-101/.
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