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I know why. My dad isn't around and my mom never wanted kids. I moved around a lot (about evey other year or so) and I really never got to develop strong relationships and social skills. I don't mind not having many friends, on a normal day I'll say maybe 500 words max (some variation on "can I use the bathroom?" and "thanks" or answering when called on in class). What gets me though is that one of my friends is in a relationship. It seems so important, actually, that he neglects our own friendship for it (besides the point of this rant). I wish I could have something like that. Something that feels so important that others things just kinda fade away. But I can't force myself to like anyone like that. I guess my mind is still used to the "well you're gonna to move at the end of the year so no point in talking to anyone" mindset that I struggle to connect to anyone on any level. I'm never anyones first choice. My friendships feel like transactions where we just agree to keep each other company and make bad jokes for a few hours a month and then not talk for weeks after. The moment someone's nice to me, I idolize them even though I don't know them.
I just wish I could like someone enough to not care about anything else. But I don't even like my own friends.
It can be very hard to develop deep friendships when you are moving around that often, has it stopped at this point? Like are you staying in one place now? If so, it's possible that you will start to develop deeper friendships or relationships now, even if you are still moving around, it is possible to stay friends with people via social media and other internet based communication methods. So it's possible that you just haven't met the right people or had enough time with the right people to develop the type of relationship you describe you are looking for. It's possible you just need some time or to meet the right people/person. Maybe just keep meeting new people until you find the one(s) that you can really develop a connection with. Sit with new people in school, talk to people you don't normally talk to, join a team or club, there are a bunch of ways to meet new people. If you keep an open mind and keep trying, maybe you'll find that type of relationship you are looking for. Good luck with it, to discuss this further you can call or chat with us.
It seems you’re facing a tough time, dealing with feelings of loneliness and the challenges of forming connections. Given your experiences of moving around and lacking support during your upbringing, it's completely understandable to feel this way. Relationships can be difficult, especially when you’ve developed a mindset that they won’t last.
It's commendable that you can recognize these feelings and understand their roots. Acknowledging your struggles is the first step toward making positive changes. You might consider starting small by engaging in brief conversations with classmates or others around you. Practicing open-ended questions can foster more meaningful interactions.
Exploring your interests by joining clubs or activities can also help you meet people and bond over common passions, making connections easier. It’s important to be open about your desire to connect; sharing your thoughts can create a bond with someone who feels similarly.
If your feelings of loneliness become overwhelming, seeking professional help from a counselor or therapist can be incredibly beneficial. They can offer strategies to work through your emotions and assist you in developing social skills.
Lastly, remember that building connections takes time, especially when you’ve been conditioned to hold back. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this journey. It’s entirely normal to feel the way you do, and many others face similar challenges. You’re not alone in this, and taking small steps can lead to meaningful relationships over time.
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
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