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hey,

this is probably something you guys never actualy read before.

im 16 and im muslim and egyption. i fell in love with this boy. In my religon a muslim girl cant be with anyone that isnt muslim. but i actualy love him. i never actualy liked anyone before i honestly havent. My parents would actualy freak out if they found out i have a bf and he doesnt want to leave me even though he barely sees me because he just likes me that much.

I was raised to not having sex before marriage but honestly im down for having sex with him is that wrong? if my parents found out they would disown me. DISOWN. my parents arent that religous i dont pray we dont wear the headscarf we are just kinda not that religous but my parents love shoving the religion down my throat when i honestly dont care much for it . well i do but same time i just dont.

i cut like alot. suicide has come my mind alot. i cant talk to my parents the way some kids can. i just cant. we always get in fights about how i dress or how i act. she calls me a street girl for how i dress and act. when im honestly wearning the most normal things ever. i cant be myself at all. and seeing everyone else being able to be themselves is hard. i cant see one of the only people i love right now. i tried talking to my school councler but she doesnt care. she honestly doesnt or it seems like she dosent care. when i told her about this kid wanting to commit suicide she told me she was to busy to hear it for the momment and it broke my heart it felt like i had no where to actually go like lost? i cant talk to a councler or my parents? i cant live to be who i want or express myself.

i wanna be with him. but im scared to get disowned even though i can careless but same time care alot. my parents would do anything for me as long as im not dressing lie a quote on quote slut or being myself. i love him i honestly love him. i barely get to see him but i honetly love him.

i honestly just started cutting again today. it sucks. but their is more going on than i can actualy say before getting sared someone might say i need help or to call child services on your parents i dont know im done i dont know what to do i keep explaining to him i cant be with him but he wont let me go and he doesnt even wanna have sex he just wants to stay with me.

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2NDFLOOR

Super Moderator • 8 years, 8 months ago

It is really great that you reached out for help with this! Suicide is never the right answer! There are so many resources available to help you. First, if you are thinking about suicide it would be really helpful to tell an adult that you trust, yes I know you mentioned that you trust no one then tell your guidance counselor. He or she can get you help right away. You can also Check out the website www.nationalsuicidepreventionlifeline.org or call at 800-273-8255! You are not alone, there are people who can and want to help you! Professionals can help you sort out what you are struggling with emotionally.
I understand that having a strained relationship with your parents can be difficult. Sometimes counseling for a family can be beneficial. It all depends on what people in your family are willing to do. In the mean time, try not to let his negativity ruin you. Think of all the special things about yourself that make you unique. It's too bad your parents can't accept everything, but it's even sadder that you can't. Take some time to really appreciate you for who you are, regardless of your parent's beliefs. Hold your head up and know you are aloud to be happy with all your choices!!! We only have one life so live it. Here is information and support for self-harm as well.
Have you heard of the butterfly project? http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com/ it’s a good way to bring people together who have experienced self-harm. There are many other resources you can use as well @ http://www.selfinjury.com/ which can provide you with referrals if you are looking for a therapist or may be able to give you some treatment information. I hope this has helped and remember you are not alone, there is support for you. If you want to talk more call 2NDFLOOR we are available 24/7 @ 888-222-2228 or text us daily between 4-8pm.

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