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Imagine walking into school your eighth grade year, internally panicking about how your abuser is spreading rumors about you, along with anything and everything you've shared about certain people. To almost everyone. And spreading rumors. I had met my abuser when I was in the fifth grade. She had been a new student to the school and I thought that she was super duper nice. Of course, she seemed like a great person...when I first met her. She started getting like this when I had told her about my crush, Jason, at the time, not liking me back. And instead of being like "Oh, don't worry. There are plenty of other fish in the sea." she responded with this: "Wow. You're so desperate." and this was the real start to everything. This including multiple calling amounts being used(like calling me about 15-20 minutes through my house phone or cell phone), telling me what to do, forcing me into things I didn't want to do, and so much more. This went on for two years. I'm 17 years old right now and I can't even comprehend the idea of being able to face her. Let alone being able to have the confidence to walk up to her and say anything. But, there was one important night where I had just been so done with dealing with her. So done with everything...that I attempted cutting. Thankfully, it was unsuccessful but it left a bruise on my arm for about a week. I couldn't have wanted anything else except to be out of her grasp and into a not so toxic place. After I had left though, she still would continue to harass me by putting something in her bios on social media, then when I felt okay following her back (mainly because she stopped doing the bio thing), she started doing it in the posts, and all. It left me feeling unhealthy and holding a grudge over her. Her name was Hayden...and I regret meeting her...but she showed me what not to trust or fall for anymore.
*The names in this story were changed due to confidentiality*
It sounds like this person has put you through a lot over the years. It is good that you were able to find your resiliency in all of this by identifying what you don't need in a friendship or any relationship. However it would still be beneficial for you to try speaking to someone about what you went through if you haven't already. You don't want to give this person power over your life when they have already taken so much. This experience could be considered a form of trauma that should be worked out. If you do not feel you are ready to be in her presence then it sounds like there is work that needs to be done, not so much so you could confront this person but so you don't have to live in fear of this person. As for now, it sounds like the best bet would be to keep your distance and be civil. To provoke or irritate this person could fuel the harassment, but do try to talk to someone about how you feel, particularly a school counselor if you can. If you would like to talk about this or anything else further please feel free to text or call 2NDFLOOR anytime 24/7 at 1(888) 222-2228.
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
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