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Dear Avery,

Many times I've taken the wrong road by mistake and

Many times I meant to get lost.

And every bad decision lost in every admonition

Was a way to burn a bridge that I crossed.

It's not too late to start again.

Alright, hold tight

I'm never gonna lose another fight.

In time, you'll find

There's nothing you can say to change my mind.

I don't feel bad, now I know that

There's a new life waiting for me.

Alright, hold tight

I'm never gonna lose another fight.

Many nights I waken

To a city that's forsaken

Many nights I've tried to sleep through

But when we face the darkness

A light goes on inside us

And somehow we know

Just what to do

It's not too late to start again

Alright, hold tight

I'm never gonna lose another fight

In time, you'll find

There's nothing you can say

To change my mind

I don't feel bad, now I know that

There's a new life waiting for me

Alright, hold tight

I'm never gonna lose another fight

You're never safe, you're never sound

Will you help me, will you throw me to the ground

I am done letting pain push me around

I'm getting up, you're going down

Alright, hold tight

I'm never gonna lose another fight

In time, you'll find

There's nothing you can say

To change my mind

I don't feel bad, now I know that

There's a new life waiting for me

Alright, hold tight

I'm never gonna lose another fight

I'm never gonna lose another fight

I don't think you ever understood or will ever understand just how much you meant to me at any given time. Maybe I was just a good friend to you for some time, but for the better part of 3 years you were the only person I thought about. You were the only person I ever wanted to be with. You were the only person I wanted to share the best days of my life with (and sometimes the worst) and the only person who I felt really knew me. I never felt the way I feel about you about anyone else, and I haven't since. I truly thought you were the one for me, but maybe I wasn't the one for you.

This isn't your fault. People grow, people change, and in doing so sometimes leave people behind they once cared for, now lacking the shine they once had. But I never really did get over you. You were over me in an instant, it felt like. Going from Ryan, to Brayden, to Jack, some Delsea boy in between. But you never stopped floating around my head. I guess when you fall in love with the prettiest girl in the world, that'll happen.

Your hair was the first thing I noticed, Freshman year, sitting behind you in AP World History. I loved your gorgeous curly hair. I don't know exactly what it was about it, but it had my attention for the majority of the 2nd semester. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. Later on, any time you complained you didn't like your hair, you thought it never looked good, I never understood becuase it was probably my favorite physical feature of you. No one in the world could compete.

I finally found the courage to text you. Something dumb, probably “What did you get on that test”. But the way it kicked off. Somewhat sporadically talking for awhile, but finally picking up to daily. I loved your chaos. Hundreds of thoughts bouncing around your head at any given moment. But the chaotic mind that I came to love maybe became the thing that ended all of it in the end. The chaotic mind that turned cold to me, leaving me with one word answers. “I don’t really text anyone anymore” is what you told me. “I just feel like I need to learn to be ok by myself.” You ended up with 3 different boys after that conversation.

The killer for me was when you forgot about my birthday. Your only reminder was the fact that our history teacher mentioned it and that’s what made you remember. I still know yours. 6/12/2007.

But maybe it was all for the better. If not for me, for you. You seem happier since you’ve left me behind. You talk to more people in school, you’re more engaged in lessons, you’ve become more productive. But most obvious to me, you’re smiling more. The smile I fell in love with Freshman year, finally able to show through again. The smile I hoped to make come out more. But after all the times you told me there was nothing I could do and I wasn’t any part of the reason for your depressive episodes, maybe I was. Maybe that’s why you're happier now.

Stay happy Avery Nicole. You’re the prettiest, smartest, greatest girl in the world. Stay here and Never Surrender.

I’m never gonna lose another fight

🤗

🙏

❤️

💯

😢

💪