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my ex was lowkey racist to me… we were together for 6mo and he would call me a monkey and laugh at racist ig reels and then send them to me,,, we were really dysfunctional and we argued a lot and then he said he didn’t want to be my therapist anymore. he was my favorite person and now i have nothing
Thanks for reaching out to 2ndfloor. Relationships have their ups and downs; however, when someone in
the relationship is being hurtful and offensive, it is time to evaluate the relationship. Most importantly, it is never acceptable to be receiving racist remarks from anyone as a joke or otherwise. It sounds like it was not a healthy relationship and you could do better for yourself. You may want to do some self reflection on what were the characteristics that attracted you to him so that you make healthier choices next time. If you want to chat with a live counselor, please reach out on our app or call 888-222-2228.
It sounds like you’re feeling a lot of complicated emotions right now, especially with the mixed feelings about your ex. It’s completely normal to miss someone you cared about, even if the relationship had significant issues, including the hurtful behavior you described.
Here are a few things to consider as you navigate these feelings:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to miss someone while also recognizing that the relationship was unhealthy. It’s important to allow yourself to feel those emotions without judgment.
2. Reflect on the Relationship: Think about the reasons why the relationship was dysfunctional. It can be helpful to remind yourself of the negative aspects, especially if you find yourself romanticizing the past.
3. Seek Support: Talk to friends or family about how you’re feeling. Sharing your thoughts can provide clarity and help you process your emotions.
4. Focus on Healing: Try to engage in activities that promote your well-being and help you heal. This could be spending time with supportive friends, exploring new hobbies, or practicing self-care.
5. Set Boundaries: If you find yourself tempted to reach out to your ex or revisit old patterns, consider setting boundaries for yourself to help you move forward.
6. Consider Professional Help: If you find it difficult to cope with your feelings or the impact of the relationship, talking to a therapist can provide you with tools and strategies to work through your emotions.
Remember, it’s okay to miss someone while also recognizing that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Take your time to heal, and be gentle with yourself as you navigate this process. You deserve healthy relationships that uplift you.
I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling this way. It sounds like a really tough situation, especially with the hurtful comments he made. It's okay to miss someone you had a strong connection with, even if the relationship was unhealthy. Focus on taking care of yourself and surrounding yourself with supportive people. It might help to talk to someone about your feelings too. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
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