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Last year was my first year in high school. I feel as though I have made a name for myself. People knew me and how outgoing I was and that I would do anything I can to help people out. Over the past 1.5-2 years I've done most of this without putting myself first. I've built up a name as a leader in the school. Most people in the school see me as a leader. I struggle with anxiety and a bit of depression and while I'm usually okay with dealing, the past year has been a bit of a blur. I've never been the kind of person who opens up to people and talk about how I really feel, to kids, adults, my parents, or anyone. I found myself skipping classes and cutting, mainly because of social anxiety and the fact that I did not have good peer relationships with some kids in some classes, but because people knew who I was, I was never in trouble or never got any detentions for my actions. This began to grow into a problem but has since fizzled out. This post is mainly about an incident that happened recently. "Finstas" are a new thing where people have fake instagrams pages where they will post about feelings, post memes, talk about someone, and those kinds of things. I have had my finsta for approx. 9 months now and approx. 2 and a half weeks ago I had posted a picture where I was crying and captioned that I was very stressed and needed some time for myself. Well, even though this was more than 2 weeks ago, someone went to my vice principal with the picture yesterday where everything became blown out of proportion. Earlier that day, I was talking to our SAC (Student Assistance Counselor) about a texting fight I had gotten in with another girl over the weekend. It was kind of rough but I tried to go back to my school day as normal.I then got called down to talk to her and another counselor in the school and they began screening me for depression and suicidal thoughts, because of the reports of the post. Even though after it was clear I had no suicidal thoughts or plans or actions or anything of that nature, they still had to call my parents, so they were aware of what was happening in school. I do NOT talk to my parents very much and they did not know how stressed out I was a few weeks ago. They began to insanely worry and even ended up calling a mobile response service. This was the first time I have ever had an experience with the group and it was not ideal for me, considering the amount of stuff I already dealt with during the day time. I proceeded to go to school today, but cut my 1st period class. My guidance counselor was looking for me, so they'd had a "whole search party" in the school looking for me. I was found, I talked to my counselor, everything was okayish. My parents were already on edge about what had happened the day before, but they were very surprised to hear that I was cutting class again. We just sat down to have a talk where they informed me that they were going to be having a meeting w guidance counselors and administrators at my school to have a plan in place so I was not cutting classes or hiding out in the school anymore even though they know that may not be beneficial to me. My parents even started implying to me that I wouldn't be able to get into a good college. With all of this being said, I almost feel alone right now, because I feel the school is not on my side, I don't really have friends in general, and my parents just seem to be angry with me. All in all, I'm just very scared for the time being to see what's going to happen to me :(

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2NDFLOOR

Super Moderator • 6 years, 7 months ago

Thank you for reaching out to 2NDFLOOR about this. It sounds like you have been going through a lot. It is understandable to think that the school and other people involved aren't really on your side, but all these plans to motivate you to stop cutting class and etc sound like they are on your side even though it may not seem that way to you right now. The administration at school and you parents seem to be working together so that you have a better school experience, but perhaps you need some more outside support to help you cope with your anxiety at this time. You can try talking with your parents about seeing a counselor/therapist outside of school for extra support. If you'd like to discuss this further, or talk about any other issue you may have, please text or call us at 888-222-2228.

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