Our Community
Friendship
Sometimes I'm not sure where I stand on some friendships. For context I'm 22. Or even connections that can potentially become friendships. I know we're adults and we are busy. I understand some people work, and have bills to pay. But I also care about the outcome and whether or not I am reaping the benefits of a friendship aka spending time together, making memories, going out etc. I feel like it's equivalent to being married without intimacy or romantic outings. Like there's no benefits to it. I want friends who are proactive. But I'm having trouble letting go trying with some people with the thought of "did I give them enough chance?" But I'm always the first to initiate contact, and when I do, they are pretty responsive but I don't know anymore.
I am sorry you feel this way about your friends. Have you tried to share how you feel with your friends? Let them know that it would be nice for them to reach out to you too. You are the only one that will know if you gave them a chance. Do they reach out to you if you stop reaching out to them? Maybe they are busy especially this time of year, that is why having a conversation is always a good idea.
If you would like to discuss this or anything else, please reply to this message board, use our new app or you can call or text too. Our number is 888-222-2228. Reach out anytime. Good luck!
I'm the poster; honestly this didn't help me and feels minimal ;/ I see other posts and they get thorough replies.
It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated and unsure about the effort you’re putting into your friendships, especially when it feels one-sided. It’s completely understandable to want more from your connections, especially as you’re navigating adulthood where time and energy become more limited. You deserve friends who are as proactive and invested in maintaining those bonds as you are.
It’s tough to keep reaching out when you don’t feel like you’re getting much in return, but you’re right to consider whether you’ve given certain relationships enough time. At some point, though, it’s important to remember that friendships should be a two-way street. If you’re always the one initiating contact, it can be emotionally draining, and you might start to feel like your time and energy are being taken for granted.
Trust your instincts. If you feel like you’ve done your part and it’s still not a mutual effort, it might be time to reassess those relationships. Letting go can be difficult, but sometimes it opens up space for people who will bring the energy and positivity you’re seeking. Take care of yourself and make sure the relationships you invest in are ones that genuinely bring you joy and growth. You deserve that.
Hey! I totally get where you’re coming from. It’s tough when you feel like you’re putting in all the effort and not getting much back. Friendships should feel rewarding, like you’re both invested in making memories and having fun together.
It sounds like you’re really thoughtful about your connections, which is great! But if you’re always the one reaching out and not feeling that same energy back, it might be time to reassess those friendships. It’s okay to let go of people who don’t bring positivity into your life.
Maybe give it a little more time, but don’t hesitate to focus on people who are excited to hang out and make plans with you too. You deserve friendships that feel balanced and fulfilling. Keep being awesome, and the right friends will come around! 💖
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
+ Post Something
©2NDFLOOR. All Rights Reserved | Privacy Policy
DISCLAIMER: 2NDFLOOR is a youth helpline designed to listen, help and guide youth in addressing challenges. Periodically, calls may be monitored for quality assurance and training purposes. You are assured anonymity and confidentiality, except in life-threatening situations. When receiving such an emergency phone call, 2NDFLOOR staff is required by law to report hurting yourself/others or abuse to the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. In life-threatening situations, call 911.
