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I only met my teacher in September and from the first day i met her i knew there was something special about her. I just felt like she was going to be the teacher i can trust and talk to. I am very quiet and shy, i don't trust easily and i bottle all my emotions up. It hard for me talk about how I feel. But one day I was sitting in the English office having a writing conference and my teacher stopped and was like "....is there something wrong? Why are you so reluctant to write this paper, are you sure you want to rewrite it?" I said yes because i need to bring up my grade i can't have a b or my mom is going to kill me." My teacher then asked "am i scaring you or freaking you out? We can take baby steps because i feel like your are overwhelmed." But my essay wasn't the thing that was bothering me, i have so much on my mind. My whole world is falling apart. The next day i heard"...darling can i speak to you after class." (the dot dot dot means my name) I wasn't having a good day that day in the first place. I thought i was in trouble, even though i dint do anything. My teacher said "I talked to the schools therapist about how I'm worried about you and (talking about me, this is what she told me she had said)I want her to be happy and find her voice, I know there is something wrong because she doesn't have a sparkle in her eyes or a smile that lights up the whole room anymore. I can see right through her fake smile and i can tell she is hiding something but i don't know what.She wasn't who she was on the first day of school. " and then she asked me if i would like to meet her? and i said"i guess" so my teacher walked me down and gave me a little nudge into her office and introduced ourselves. My teacher said that she has spoken to her before about her own personal problems. So i went into the english office that day and asked her if i could write a letter to the therapist first to get to know me and i won't feel as uncomfortable and my teacher was like of course, that is a big step. I am happy you are doing this" Friday i gave the therapist my note, but inly if my teacher walked down with me. The therapist was like when are your off periods in the day so you can come talk to me about what ill read. ... My english teacher was like "do you need my moral support and a push from me to step into her office the next time?' I talked to her for like 25 minutes, asked a lot of questions about me and stuff. But now she wants me to see her weekly and I don't know,i feel embarrassed and stupid. I am in 9th grade and i can't do anything for myself, my anxiety holds me back. I am so nervous to get back from my break because that is when i start. should i go to her? Why can't i fix my own problems? I am nervous to open up the therapist, i have had 2 therapists already before and it took me a long time before i started to talk. I don't want her to tell anyone else about me, after i left i saw her speaking to my guidance counselor. Does my teacher really care about me? I never had this kind of attention before. I almost don't want to go back to school because of this. The therapist gave me her email and her number, and was like maybe we could meet for coffee, just in case i needed to talk because i have such a long break? Is it bad? Is it bad that my teacher told the therapist about me?
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your concerns with us at 2NDFLOOR. That is a big step, and we are glad that you felt comfortable to share your concerns with us. From what you have posted, it is clear that you are very nervous to work with this new therapist. Being nervous about having to talk to a therapist, is COMPLETELY NORMAL. Its a big step, and it takes a lot of confidence to be able to share personal information about yourself with a stranger. This is a lot to ask of anyone, and can definitely be anxiety provoking.
But it can also be a really good thing too! While we all wish we could solve our problems on our own, sometimes we need the help of others to figure something or discover a solution we never would have thought about. So talking to a therapist is definitely a good option to try. The big thing to remember is that you are the one that controls how the conversations go, and what information you decide to share. It is okay if it takes a long time for you to open up, as many therapists understand that. Plus anything you tell them is kept between the two of you, unless you authorize otherwise. The only exception is if the therapist thinks you are in danger of harming yourself or others, they may notify the appropriate authorities or your parents.
Lastly, it sounds like you have a pretty good support system at your school too. The fact that your teacher decided to share her concerns about you with a therapist, only means that she sincerely cares about your well being and wants to see you be the best person you can be! It sounds like both your English teacher and even the therapist are willing to take small steps with you to make it as comfortable as possible. This is a great set up, because it means both of them will work with you at your pace to help you deal with whatever is going on.
Ultimately the decision is up to you, and which ever option you choose will be okay, if you are okay with it! If you want to talk more about this or anything else feel free to call 2NDFLOOR at 1-888-222-2228!
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