Our Community
Mental Health
When i was younger I had thought about suicide, I couldn't help but imagine what would happen, would people cry, would they yell if they read the letters I wrote. I started self harm when I was in 4th grade, I started with small things like pins, and safety scissors, I would scratch myself with safety pins trying to draw blood but I never could.
I dont think I ever was a good kid, I always got in to trouble, I always was yelling, I was a liar constantly. I was a pathological liar and I always made up the stupidest things, I guess I just wanted attention. I remember I got in to an argument with my mom, and i tried to commit, I tried to drown myself, another time I tried to swallow pills. When I was younger and I became frustrated I would take a shoelace and try to choke myself, till I started to cough, I wanted to die.
I wrote many letters, and i remember I made a promise to myself at a young age, when I'm 18 I'm killing myself. I wanted to give myself a chance to feel better, to be better possibly but I'm close to 18 and I still suffer, every day and I'm getting tired. I have anxiety, and possibly depression. Everytime I feel happy it's for a few weeks then I get hit with not wanting to do anything, I get extremely depressed and I can't help but cry, and want to hurt myself or die. It's a false happiness. I had been clean for 3 months, I hadn't felt depressed or anything for so long, I was happy, I had a boyfriend, friends, my grades were good, then I post some friends, I lost my boyfriend, my grades are c's and I dont know what to do anymore. I thought i was finally better but I cant stop crying.
Im tired of being sad, im tired of suffering
It sounds like you are hurting and I am glad you reached to 2ndfloor. Right now what is most important is that you work with a therapist and a doctor to help you regulate your emotions and ensure your safety. You are not stupid and are very brave to put all of this on a message board so you can get help. You are crying because you are overwhelmed and sad and that is a response to the situations you have recently experienced. Please do not give up hope and reached for help. We are available 24/7 on our app or you can call 888-222-2228. If you are struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call 988 or chat at http://988lifeline.org. In life-threatening situations, call 911.
I'm truly sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It's really important to talk to someone who can help you, such as a mental health professional or a trusted person in your life.
I’m sorry that you feel that you want to die but people that you are close to really love you and care for you. You should definitely tell someone about how you feel and get help for it. You matter and you should never feel that way.
This is a safe space to share what's on your mind and to get support from real people.
+ Post Something
©2NDFLOOR. All Rights Reserved | Privacy Policy
DISCLAIMER: 2NDFLOOR is a youth helpline designed to listen, help and guide youth in addressing challenges. Periodically, calls may be monitored for quality assurance and training purposes. You are assured anonymity and confidentiality, except in life-threatening situations. When receiving such an emergency phone call, 2NDFLOOR staff is required by law to report hurting yourself/others or abuse to the appropriate authorities. If you or someone you know is struggling or having thoughts of suicide, call 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. In life-threatening situations, call 911.
